


5 Times Kravitz Tried to Propose

by theaceupmysleeveisme



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Fluff Fic, M/M, NO ANGST HERE ONLY FLUFF, my favorite boys are finally gonna be happy, someone help Kravitz he’s an idiot in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-05-01 17:48:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19182739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaceupmysleeveisme/pseuds/theaceupmysleeveisme
Summary: (And one time he did.)Kravitz loves Taako.Kravitz wants to marry Taako.And he wants to make his proposal absolutely perfect. But it looks like it’s going to be harder than anticipated.





	5 Times Kravitz Tried to Propose

“You look stunning.” Kravitz says.

“You’ve said that four times already.” Taako laughs. “Then again, I’m definitely not getting tired of it.” He shoots a wink in Kravitz’s direction, who gives a nervous smile in response. 

“Right, of course. Well, it’s the truth.” The reaper’s eyes scan the small restaurant, though not really paying attention to the other few other customers in the building. Kravitz’s expression seems… distant, like his thoughts are focused elsewhere. 

Taako’s grin falters slightly. “Is… is everything ok, Krav?” 

“Hm?”

“You just seem distracted, and I wouldn’t mind it as much if I was the distraction, but you’re definitely not staring at cha’boy. So tell me,” Taako leans in across the table. “What’s on your mind?” 

Kravitz looks sheepish as he speaks. “Sorry, I just… was thinking.” His corporeal form flickers for a split second, making Taako’s eyebrows shoot up.

“You good, bone boy?”

“Yeah, just… _nerves._ ” Kravitz sighs, rubbing his face as he tries to keep himself from going “ _full skeletor_ ” as the twins call it. 

“Nerves, huh?” Taako’s interested now. “Nerves over what?”

“Well- I…” Kravitz swallows. Now’s as good a time of any. “I have a question to ask you. It’s an important one, one that I’ve thought about for a while.” An encouraging smile from Taako helps ease the pit of nerves in Kravitz’s gut. “And, I just wanted to say, that I love you, Taako,” Kravitz reaches into his pocket, trying to find the familiar feeling of the little velvet box. 

A wave a panic surges through him when he finds _nothing._

“Uh- I love you, and you’re amazing,” Kravitz stumbles over his words as he tries to stall for precious time. He hurriedly feels through his other suit’s pocket, ignoring the amusement dancing in Taako’s eyes. “And- uh- _shit-_ I wanted to ask you-“

“ _Yes?_ ” Taako smiles, and it’s the smile that Kravitz loves so much, but in this moment it also makes him want to scream in frustration. 

Kravitz is facing a dilemma now, one that requires him to think fast. 

“Can we get another cat?” The words Kravitz’s mouth before he can quite register just what he was saying. 

Apparently, he’s not good at thinking fast.

A shocked expression crosses Taako’s face for a split second, before morphing into confusion. “Is _that_ what tonight was about?” Taako asks, his tone laced with barely contained laughter. “Were you buttering me up to make sure I’d say yes?” 

Kravitz gives a smile that he _hopes_ will hide the fact that he’s internally screaming. “Yeah, you caught me.” The reaper lets out a painfully strained laugh. 

Taako raises an eyebrow. “I think that Cat Angus and Tortilla will be offended that they’re not enough for you, but I’m down.”

“That’s _great!_ ” Kravitz says in an impossibly cheery voice. “We can pick one from the shelter on our way home.” 

Taako nods in agreement, before changing the subject. Kravitz pays attention as well as he can, and as interesting as it is to hear about the time Lup and Magnus set Taako’s kitchen on fire, he can’t help but want to slam his face onto the table. 

Only he would manage to lose an engagement ring five minutes before he was planning to propose. At least next time it would go much more smoothly.

...right?

—————

It’d been three days since the… _incident,_ and Kravitz was ready to try again. He’d already planned it all out- a quiet morning with breakfast in bed, spending some quality time together, then _hopefully,_ Kravitz would pull out the ring and propose. 

Oddly enough, Kravitz didn’t feel quite as nervous as he had the last time. Still, he checks his pocket for the ring one more time as he makes coffee. He won’t let himself make the same mistake twice. 

He hums to himself as he moves around in the kitchen, and he can’t help but wonder how Taako makes this look so _easy._

When Kravitz had tried to crack eggs for an omelet, he’d dropped the entire egg on the floor, resulting in a slimy mess for him to clean later. He won’t even get _near_ the bacon, unless it’s in his skeleton form, because the grease wouldn’t stop splattering on his skin, and that _burns._ His attempt at fresh orange juice was… pitiful to say in the least, considering the fact that there were still orange pieces stuck to the ceiling- which he’s still not entirely sure about how they got there. The only thing he hadn’t managed to mess up was the toast, which-

Suddenly, the smoke alarms went off.

_Speak of the devil._

Kravitz rushes over to the toaster, swearing loudly when he almost slips in some off the raw egg he forgot to clean up. Ignoring the plumes of smoke, he turns the toaster upside down, hoping to remove the burning bread. A few lumps of blackened bread -if you can even call it that anymore, it looks more like charcoal- fall onto the counter, crumbling to ash. Kravitz knows there’s still a few more pieces of the smoking bread, but after a few more attempts to remove them, he gives up, throwing the entire toaster into the trash.

They needed a new one anyway. 

“ _Hachi machi,_ I haven’t seen this much destruction since the Vore Cloud attacked.” Kravitz whirls around to see Taako standing in the doorway, still in his pajamas.

Well, if you could call one of Kravitz’s shirts- which were large enough to come down to Taako’s mid thigh- suitable pajamas. 

“I… tried to make you breakfast.” Kravitz gestures to the kitchen around him. “As you can see, it didn’t go as well as I’d hoped.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Taako says with a smile. “But you tried your best.” He walks over to Kravitz, placing a kiss on his cheek, before reaching past him to grab a coffee mug. 

Kravitz grimaces at the mug Taako chose- it was one Lup got her brother last Candlenights, and it read in big, bold lettering, _“I’m Horny for Death”._ Both of the twins had found it absolutely _hysterical._

“Listen,” Taako says, pouring a generous cup of coffee into that cursed mug. “I’ll help you clean up, but then I gotta go help Ango with a magic lesson.” He pauses to sip his coffee. “Unless there’s anything you need your Taako for?”

Kravitz hesitates, realizing that it’s now or never. 

“I- oh _fuck!_ ” He screeches, rushing over to the stove.

The bacon had caught on fire. 

—————

Kravitz had begun to lose patience. It was almost a week since his last attempt at proposing, and he’d nearly run out of ideas.

Tonight he was going to take Taako for a walk on the moon- or, at least the _fake moon,_ that is. He wanted to take the elf back to where it all started: at the Chug N’ Squeeze on the Bureau of Balance headquarters oh so long ago. 

“Are you almost ready, love?” Kravitz calls out, bouncing impatiently on his toes. 

“You can’t rush perfection, babe!” Taako shouts back to him. “But yeah, just give me a sec-“ a loud coughing fit comes from the direction of their bedroom, and Kravitz’s eyebrows scrunch together in concern.

“Taako?” There’s no answer, just another series of loud, shuddering coughs. He practically runs up the stairs to their bedroom. “Taako, babe, are you alright?” He asks as he enters the room. Kravitz lets out a sigh of relief when he sees Taako sitting in front of the mirror, makeup scattered on the surface in front of him. 

Taako turns around, and Kravitz realizes just how tired the elf looks. “Sorry, I’m fi-“ another cough forced him to break off. “I’m _fine._ ”

“Yeah, and I’m alive.” Kravitz murmurs, crossing the room. He presses a hand to Taako’s forehead, and yanks it back the moment it makes contact. “You’re so _hot._ ”

“Don’t I know it.” Taako grins half heartedly. “Can you do me a favor and put your hand back? That felt absolutely _fantastic._ ”

“My hand feels good because you have a fever.”

“Your hand can feel good at any time if put to the right use.” Taako winks at him, and Kravitz lets out a long groan. 

“ _Really?_ ” 

Taako only shrugs in response. “Yeah, that was bad, even for me. So, are you ready to go?” He tries to get up, but the moment he’s on his own two feet, his knees give out on him. If not for Kravitz moving fast enough to catch the elf’s limo form, Taako would’ve hit the floor. “My _hero._ ” Taako’s voice is almost slurring, and it’s definitely concerning. 

“Taako, you’re _sick._ ”

“And _you’re_ handsome.” A lazy grin stretches over Taako’s lips as he presses a finger to Kravitz’s nose. “ _Boop._ ” He whispers, then cackled loudly like it’s the best joke he’s ever heard. 

“Yeah, definitely running a fever.” Kravitz mutters. He lays Taako down on the bed, letting out a small sigh.

So much for proposing tonight. 

“Hey, tall, dark, and handsome,” Taako grabs onto Kravitz’s arm. “Wanna _bone?_ ” 

Taako laughs so loudly at that that Kravitz had to leave the room in order to call Merle.

—————

Kravitz has his lips pressed to Taako’s, and it feels _right._ It’s just the two of them in their kitchen, enjoying each other’s company a little too much. His hands tug impatiently at the bottom of the elf’s shirt, causing Taako to pull away and laugh. 

“Eager today, aren’t we?” Taako grins at the embarrassed expression on his boyfriend’s face. “It’s not like you can’t get a piece of Taako whenever.”

“You’re certainly right about that.” Kravitz says with an overly affectionate smile. “I’m definitely lucky have you with me more often than not.” 

Taako’s face scrunches up in mock disgust as he playfully pushes the reaper away. “Don’t go and get all sentimental on me, skeleton breath.” His face breaks out into a grin. “Cause then I gotta try and be just as touchy-feely as you, and you _know_ that feelings aren’t my forte.”

Kravitz rolls his eyes. “You know I don’t expect you to do that.” 

“Well of course not, and that’s part of what makes you so insufferably _perfect_.” Taako’s teasing expression changes into something more genuine. “That’s one of the reasons I love you. You’re amazingly sweet, and even though you’re a complete nerd, you’re _my_ nerd.”

Being a reaper had its perks, and lacking the ability to blush was one of them, _especially_ for a moment like this. If Kravitz _could_ blush, he’d be a bright red, and Taako knows it, judging off the amused look on his face. 

“Have I mentioned that I love you?” Kravitz mutters as he pulls Taako in close to him. 

_This is the moment._ He thinks to himself, and reaches into his pocket for a certain small box. He’s learned to always keep it on him, just in case. 

“You might’ve said so once or twice.” Taako places a kiss on Kravitz’s chin. “But I wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”

“I love you.” Kravitz repeats. “And-“ Abruptly, there’s an odd sensation at the back of his mind, one that’s a little too familiar. He shakes the feeling, silently begging for just _one more moment._ “And I just want to- _damn it!_ ” He groans when the feeling persists. 

Taako looks at him, confused. “What is it?”

“Work.” Kravitz mutters irritably. He steps away from Taako, his corporeal form vanishing as he does so, leaving only a skeleton in a dark robe behind. 

“Can’t you ask Bird Mom if Lulu and Barold can take care of it?” Taako whines. 

“I would if I could, trust me.” Kravitz cuts open a portal with a downward arc of his scythe. “And stop calling the goddess of death ‘Bird Mom’.” He adds, stepping through the shimmering rift through time and space. 

“Oh, you know she loves it!” Taako calls from behind him, just as the portal closes. Kravitz can’t help but smile at that. He turns to the group of trembling necromancers in front of him, and he can feel the irritation from earlier surge through him.

Might as well get his frustrations out somewhere.

“So,” he says in his cockney accent, a terrifying grin on his skull-face. “Who’s first?”

—————

It was a quiet afternoon, and Taako and Kravitz sat together on the couch with their three cats on top of them. Fantasy Queer Eye was on- despite it being the fourth time they’d watched this episode. 

Kravitz couldn’t help but feel… _content._

He’d been a reaper for the Raven Queen for hundreds of years, yet in all that time, he’d never met someone quite like Taako. 

Taako had been through hell and back a thousand times over, and Kravitz couldn’t help but admire that. But that wasn’t his favorite thing about the elf. The way Taako shows affection isn’t conventional by any means- and that’s what makes it so special.

The way he’ll make you your favorite dish when you need cheering up, or the fact that if you need him he’ll throw away everything else in a heartbeat. 

Taako is _special,_ and Kravitz knows it- and he also knows that he wants to spend the rest of his life with him.

“What’cha thinking about?” Taako’s voice breaks through the haze in Kravitz’s mind.

“You.” 

“Interesting, interesting.” Taako hums, sidling up closer to him. “Care to tell me the specifics?” 

_Well,_ Kravitz thinks. _Now’s a good of a time as ever._

“Taako, will you-“

“ _Koko holy fuck!_ ” The sound of Lup bursting through the door causes both Taako and Kravitz to jump in surprise. 

Although, all three of their cats somehow remained comfortable on their laps, even as Lup dragged Barry into their living room. 

“Lulu, we were having a _moment._ ” Taako says, glaring at his sister.

“Yeah, well, buckle up babe, because I just had the biggest moment of my life!” Lup shoves her left hand in his face, and Taako’s eyes light up.

“Is that- _Barold you son of a bitch,_ I can’t believe you finally proposed!” Taako says, bolting up to hug his twin. Cat Angus howls in protest as he’s dumped on the floor, before reluctantly curling around a flustered Barry’s legs. 

Lup’s grin doesn’t diminish in the slightest as she pulls away, grabbing Barry’s left hand and holds it up, showing off another ring.

“Is that-“

“An engagement ring?” Lup answers Kravitz before he can even finish his question. “I proposed first, and as it turns out, he was planning to pop the question today anyway!” 

Barry rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, nodding along to Lup’s excited rambling. Though Kravitz can’t help but notice the excited gleam in his eyes, and every time he looks at Lup, Kravitz is fairly certain Barry falls in love all over again.

And as adorable as that is- Kravitz can’t help but feel a twinge of disappointment in his chest. He’s happy for his friends, but he’s getting really tired of not being engaged himself. 

“I’m so happy for you, Lulu!” Taako smiles, but when he looks down at her outfit, his lips curl in disgust. “Do you really get engaged in _this?_ ”

“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?!” Lup frowns, glancing down at the shirt that says _“I’m a bad Lich, you can’t kill me”._

Taako shakes his head. “We’ll have a chat about your lack of fashion sense later.”

Kravitz doesn’t doubt that they’ll do just that. 

—————

The sky above is a clear blue, with barely a cloud in sight. There’s a warm breeze that blows every so often as Kravitz and Taako lay next to each other on the soft grass, simply spending some quality time together. 

Kravitz absentmindedly plays with Taako’s long hair as they stare up at the sky, the only sound being the occasional bird chirping. It’s peaceful.

There’s not a distraction in sight, so Kravitz decides to take a chance. He reaches into his pocket once again, fingers grasping the little velvet box.

“Hey, Taako-“

Suddenly, there’s a loud booming noise from behind them, and the two scramble to their feet. 

“ _What was that._ ” Taako mutters, scanning the grassy hill for any sign of the source of their intrusion. His eyes land on a figure wreathed in smoke not too far away. “ _Who the fuck is that_?”

The figure stands, their hands lit with flames, and even from where Kravitz was standing, he could see a fierce glow in the person’s eyes.

“I’m here for my revenge on the reaper who destroyed my fellow necromancers!” The figure calls out. 

And Kravitz responds with the only thing he can think of.

“ _Are you fucking kidding me?!_ ” Taako barks out a laugh at his outburst, though he kept a wary eye on the necromancer. “I get the whole revenge thing, but _I’m a little busy here!_ ” 

“Oh.” The necromancer says. “Well do you want me to come back another time, or-“

“No, you wanna do this now, then we’re doing this now.” Kravitz summons his scythe with a wave of his hand, not even bothering to go skeleton. This felt too personal for work attire. 

“You heard my boyfriend!” Taako taunts, flipping off the necromancer with both hands. “Give it the best you got!”

Before Kravitz can even form a proper thought, a giant beam of flame is sent towards him, and he reacts in an instant, tackling Taako out of the way. The two roll through the grass a few feet, before coming to a stop. 

“You know, I can handle this if you want to take it easy.” Kravitz says as he climbs to his feet.

“Nah, I wanna show this fool what happens when he gets grass stains and on my favorite outfit.” Taako gestures down to his white shirt, which is now covered in green splotches, which were only there because of Kravitz rolling them out of the way.

“Uh, sorry?” Kravitz offers. 

“You can make it up to me later.” Taako says with a wink. 

Off to the side, they hear the necromancer gag. “Can’t you two flirt later?” They cast another spell, this time a fireball that would even rival one of Lup’s. 

Taako grins, and before Kravitz can do anything, the fireball is smaller than the tip of his finger. The reaper raised an eyebrow in amusement when the tiny ball simply bounces off his arm without even leaving a mark. 

“My turn.” Kravitz lunges with inhuman speed towards the figure, quickly closing the gap between them. He brings his scythe in a downward arc towards the necromancer’s chest, who just barely dodged out of the way in time.

“You’ll get him next time babe!” Taako shouts. 

Kravitz turns to give him a thumbs up, which was almost his undoing. In his moment of distraction, the necromancer had sent a beam of crackling energy in his direction.

If it wasn’t for the fact that Taako had seen it and casted a protection spell, it could’ve quite possibly blown Kravitz to bits. 

With all his strength, Kravitz throws his scythe at the necromancer’s form, and barely contains an excited cheer when it lands in the middle of their chest with a dull thud.

“Well.” The necromancer says as they stumble back. “That’s unfortunate.” And without another word, they collapse to the ground.

Taako runs up to Kravitz, wrapping his arms around the reaper’s neck. “Hachi machi, that really came out of nowhere, huh?”

Kravitz stares at him for a moment. Taako’s covered in grass stains and soot and his hair looks like he’s gone through a hurricane- and they only thought that crosses his mind is that he looks _amazing._

“Hey Taako?” 

“Yeah?”

“ _Marry me._ ” There’s a beat of silence and Kravitz can’t help but feel nervous… then Taako grins.

“What took you so long?”

**Author's Note:**

> I was in a fluffy mood, and this title popped into my brain, so of course I had to write it. I hope you enjoyed reading it!


End file.
